Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A New Man

There was a time not too long ago that I really feared being a father. Even though we had planned on having a child, the thoughts of being a good dad always haunted me. I came from a family that wasn't very emotional towards one another and I was afraid I would pass that on to my relationship with my daughter. I feared that I wouldn't be able to emotional bond with her. I would just be another face to her, one that was familiar, but had no real connection of love or happiness.

My work also controls much of my life. I am always working a lot, whether it be physically at the job or on the phone talking about work. I was worried about how I could fit having a kid into my work and school schedule. My work can be very demanding at times, causing me to get called in all hours of the night. How could I make family time when I can't even control my own time? My work also causes so much stress and that is something that I don't want to bring home, especially with a new baby.

June 22, 2008, Angie's water broke and before I knew it we were off to the hospital. When we finally arrived, the nurses checked us in and started with the induction. Since Angie wasn't dilated much, we had some time to spare. So many emotions, so many thoughts ran through my mind, but the one thing that was very clear is there was no turning back. All of the fears, all of the thoughts of being a poor dad had to be pushed back and my only concern was for Angie and the baby.

The next morning Rachel was born. I had quickly forgot about all of the worries I had the 9 months up to this point. I had new things to worry about. Is she breathing? Is she hungry? Does she need a diaper change? Lets be honest, I'm not a big fan of changing diapers and I almost vomit when I change a stinky one. The one thing that I did realize is more than diapers and food, she needed me more. That's when I feel like a changed man.

Rachel is now 6 months old and I'm starting to believe that she has a higher IQ than me. She is such an intelligent kid she must definitely get it from her mom. The only thing she got from me was ADD.

Looking back at previous post and seeing my journey through this, I see that I was mostly worried about ME. I would do anything for my daughter now. What happens to me isn't as important as her happiness. I enjoy spending every minute with her and has caused me to make changes in my life, so I can always be ther for her. The original meaning for the title of this blog was for the New Life I had created. Now this title has much more meaning, it has created a New Life in me.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

In this corner...

In this corner we have Rachel Louise Wood all of the way from the city of Angie's Belly. For the past nine months she has been preparing for this day and to make a grand entrance. On Monday, June 23, 2008, she weighed in at 7lbs 10oz and ready to take her opponent "Life" on. She stands a whopping 19 1/2" with dark hair and grayish-blue eyes. Rachel is ready for this fight and couldn't wait to get into the ring. She let her opponent know she wasn't messing around and broke Angie's water on Sunday night putting her into labor for 13 hours. This kid packs a mean left hook with a ton of attitude. She will haunt you in your sleep at 2am, swinging and trash talking with that hungry attitude she was born with. She takes her conditioning serious, gaining 5oz in one week.

So what can we expect from Rachel in the future? Right now her training is mainly consisting of feeding, sleeping, and a little exercise. Rachel is fully aware that this fight is going to go the distance, but backing her up in her corner will be daddy and mommy. They will be there every step of the way to make sure she gets the proper training to succeed and win this fight.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Rounding Third Base

Well, here we are. We are now 8 months along and it seems like yesterday I was getting the news. The time has went past so fast it really does seem like a blur. At this point I'm getting very impatient and ready to get this show on the road. I'm about as ready as I can be, not nervous anymore, but ready.

This past weekend we went to our baby class where we watch some videos and take a tour of the hospital we will be delivering at. I learned a lot of things in the class even though I grumbled the whole time. There was one part of the class that really got to me, the video on how they insert the epidural. When I say it got to me, I mean sweating and almost passing out. It was not a good sign for my wife who want to have me in the delivery room. By the time the video had finished my shirt was soaked and I almost got sick.

Getting past that now we only have about a month to go. So far Angie and the baby are very healthy and no real concerns yet, so check back in a month to see if I really passed out in the delivery room or not.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

4D Mania

Last week we went for the 4D ultrasound. I didn't want to go at first, but if you know me by now you would know that you have to break my arm to get me to do anything different. I ended up having to also take my mom and brother to the ultrasound, and when we got there it was very different than what I thought. There was a huge sectional couch and chairs behind that. in total there was seating for about 15-20 people. Then on the wall was this huge flat panel t.v. where the ultrasound would be displayed.

The table where my wife had to lay down on was right up front. It was almost like she was on display and I guess in a way she was, we had quite a few people there.

At first the woman would go around her stomach in the 2d(what I call normal) ultrasound. The doctor would find a spot and then switch it over to the 4D. It literally took my breath away. I'm now seeing all of the facial features on my little girl. We could see all her fingers and toes in great detail it didn't seem real. At one point she even gave us a half smile, almost to smile for the camera. She got moving around a bit and then moved her hands which looked like she was now waving at the camera. I think the girl really likes being the center of attention.

Overall the process took about 40 minutes where they even make you several dvd's in a movie form. Anyone going through a pregnancy and not sure to spend the money on the 4D ultrasound, do it. You will never regret having done it.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

New Waters

I have decided to change my major. A couple of post ago I talked about how I was going to change from Mechanical Engineering to Aviation at Ohio State. The past couple of weeks I wondered if this was the best time to be making these changes in my life. I have a new baby on the way which is going to be a huge adjustment in itself. Now I'm going to change majors on top of that, what am I doing to myself?

This spring quarter I decided to take the Aviation 310 course to see if this is the avenue that I want to take. I've never stepped outside the box until now. I'm going to use this class to determine if I should just do this as a hobby or as a profession. My work right now has been very stressed out and I'm just not enjoying it anymore. I don't want to be the grumbling daddy coming home complaining about work.

I deserve to be happy, but most importantly my family deserves it more.

Monday, March 10, 2008

My Blogging Experience

I was never much on blogging or writing at all. When our english professor told us that we would have to keep a blog for class, I thought to myself, "Oh great, more writing."

As we picked a topic I couldn't think of anything else better to write about then the newborn I have on the way. By keeping this blog it has allowed me to express my feelings and tell what I'm going through. I have really enjoyed writing post every week and being public lets other people comment on my post. When people comment on my post it gives me the feeling that they are understanding what I'm going through and give me advice.

Also by writing blogs for class it has given me a look at what other people in the class are interested in or going through. It's hard for us to see things that are going on in other people's worlds because we are so caught up in our own. It was nice to see what some people's views were on steroid use in professional sports. It was also interesting to see that there wasn't much confrontation due to the fact we were all trying to be coutious of each other. I would like to see how outsiders of the class would view some of the topics and respond.

Overall, I really enjoyed making post and I will continue after this point. It is a very informal way for me to express myself and get feedback, good or bad. I just want to keep on writing, I know thats a shock to those who know me best.

Blogology 101

The internet has become a good source for information for us. We can find anything but what more blogs can offer us that we couldn’t already find on the internet. Blogs have become an unscripted source of information. Blogs are real people talking about real things. I have found that blogs are a good source of information, maybe not factual, but a way to get honest answers and feelings. You can find blogs where people are talking about consumer products and giving their reviews and blogs that are talking about how people feel about certain things going on in their lives. Blogs are a good source of entertainment too. People will write about comical things they have experience in their life. I think that there are more pros than cons that we get from blogs and I think that there is more to gain than to lose by blogging ourselves.

Blogging to me has become my therapy. I’m not a guy that is very open about a lot of things. In the blog USMC and Me, the author Bigwetdirt talks about the life experiences he has been through to lead him to where he is at today. In his post he talks about wanting to join the Marine Corps, but talks about his life struggles that are keeping him from joining up right now. Blogs offer us space to share what we are feeling and going through as individuals. We all struggle through life in different ways but sometimes they are very similar to other people struggles. In blogs we can talk about those things and even get feedback from people who can relate to us. Blogs let us communicate with other people and give us a chance to see what they have posted and relate it to ourselves.

The down side to this is you also need to be ready for negative feedback. Just as people would be able to relate to you there are others that won’t be able to. You definitely need to be able to take the constructive criticism and move on. Since blogs are open to just about anybody, this leaves a chance for someone to get a rise out of you by giving you some negative feedback. The way to keep those people out is just to make your blog private to those who you want to read your post.

Blogs are also a good source of consumer information. On the website it gives consumers the opportunity to write post on baby products they’ve had experience with. This allows the consumer to write their own review and get feedback on their review. As I’m going through this pregnancy with my wife I have found blogs very helpful in learning about certain kid’s toys and products. The advantage to the blog over internet research is that you will not get a generic answer. Most research that you will do on the internet about products is what that company wants you to see. There are some sites that are primarily for consumer reviews but they never get into depth on what problems and why they had them. Blogs give people a chance to talk in detail about good or bad products out there in the market.

The draw back to this is getting a disgruntled consumer and they just go on and on about how they hate the product. They really don’t provide a good reason why, but just bash the manufacturer. These types of people are very negative people who just want to project their negativity on other people. That is what blogs can do for us; speak our mind openly and honestly.

Entertainment is another good reason that I think blogs are great. People can describe things that have happened in their lives in a comical way. In the blog Because I Said So, the author Dawn writes about her challenges of raising 3 boys and 3 girls. She writes about it in such a humorous way that you want to laugh with her as your reading her blog. She even adds funny pictures of the children at their best moments as a visual to what she is going through at that time. As a reader this will keep very interested and it lets me know that she is an everyday person like me.

Blogs have been very helpful to me. I think they are very important in this internet age that we live in because of the raw form blogs are given to us in. They have let me into other people’s lives and let me learn how they deal with things in their experiences. It also has given me a chance to relate to them what I’m going through. It has been a really good and informal way for me to share my feelings. Blogs are can be very helpful to people in many ways because there are so many variety of blogs. Blogging has changed my life and has been very helpful in the most important time of my life.